Week 2 where we find ourselves no longer in Kansas

There are times when you miss, there are times when you kiss and then there are times when you tie the GB Packers. 

This past week might just be a little bit of all three.

Before we recap the individual games here is a quick look at the standings as brought to you by Geico where you can save some meaningful percentage on your car insurance if you click on their product. 

Waiver Wednesday update:

Looks like we know where Tim’s Loyalty lies, choosing Crosby over Bailey with his waiver priority. Makes you wonder if Carl even knows about the waiver wire, missing out on an opportunity to snag Minnesota’s shiny new kicker. Steel House made a major upgrade by picking up DeSean Jackson, and The Glass Joes might actually have a keeper in the Outlaw Jesse James. And don’t sleep on Nicholas, the ringer brought in to teach us all a lesson. He made three pickups that could play large dividends the next few weeks.

Time for trades yet?

Big Head Mode Vs. 501st

Enhance Your Head, John Spartan
by Curt
Andy beat Tim. He needed Bears’ Howard to get 4.52 on MNF and it got a little suspenseful after the half when he wasn’t quite there… come’on, just one more run… come –‘ere you, come ‘ on you… GET A GD RUN! Sorry, echo’s of my last week with Jordy, who I fired. Anyway he got 8.3 giving Ardy the W to move to 1-1. Big Ben got 38.98, and Ardy also has The Fitzmagic (who beat the Eagles at home) on his bench-look out for this guy. Tim beat Carl last week in part because Carl thought it was another preseason game and benched all his starters. Ardy didn’t make the same mistake and netted a coaching grade of 90.3% as he prepares for Laces Out. Tim playing J. Cole (of Jacksonville) over either D. Adams (GB) P. Garcon (SF) or his slashie (D. henry – Ten RB) would have won. Woulda shoulda coulda.

His coaching grade was still a solid 87.5% as he heals for this week’s bout with Cuz Nug. Personally, I think 501st’ kicker, <some fired guy>, was practicing controlled, intentional missing ‘cause Vader wanted the rebels to escape. Or some shit. Whatever. Fired. Moving on.

Steel House v Jordy bangs goats
by Curt
Dental Floss Smells Like Ass
Sometimes the recommended drafts are good ideas. Gurley, the #1 pick and chosen by a robot seems to be paying dividends, he scored 30.8 (proj. 20.7 – 50% over) and Kelce showed up this week against Pittsburg. Tom started an OUT kicker and benched Matt Ryan but who could blame him because the Bills look like buffalo dung and Rivers was gonna be a safe bet. After-the-fact calculations show coaching grades of 92.8 for Jeffrey and 89.3 for Tom. Jeff played Houston’s Defense when he should have played Houston’s WR Fuller V (or fifth? Or fif?).

But even with perfect coaching there wasn’t a way out of this loss. It was like a trap; or some strong-material-ed enclosure. Some kind of solid-structured place or thing that makes or engineers or generates points and you can’t get out of it 😐 Yes, friends, Tom Nagel is here to say. Last year’s champ is middle of the road at 222.84 pts. and 6/12 in standings heading into his next game against The Vids, Tom Nagel has the highest point total so far at 259.8 heading in his next against Windowless. *Gjallarhorn Blast!*

Cuz Nug v LCpl Underground
by Jeff
The grades are in and by a + LCpl puts Cuz underground.  This one was tight largely due to the -1 pt Baltimore’s D hung up on the board.  Which still somehow has them tied for 13th best defense fantasy scoring-wise so far this season.  There are currently 7 DEF available that have outscored Baltimore this season.  Its early in the year and if you were going to talk of statistics it should be noted there is quite a bit of noise after just two weeks.  
The whole league needs to be aware of Pat Mahomes.  Sure isn’t a ballboy anymore. 

Superman paced him enough to keep it close.  With the Eifert v Engram match-up tilted in LCpl’s favor but like I said earlier just look at these positional match-ups and this one was razor thin the whole way through.  These two teams are stacked and have high-octane QBs to power them through the season.  

Good luck to Cuz Nug as they look for their 2nd win against the 501st.  LCpl Underground looks to continue full-steam ahead against the mythical questers from the northwest.

Laces Out v All the VIDEOGAMES!!
by Ardy
This matchup could have created some space in the league, pitting a 1-0 versus an 0-1, but instead, they found themselves separated by 20 points and tied in the season rankings. Finkle could have done it if he had read his crystal ball correctly, but he was afraid (rightfully so) of that Jags D, and who can bench a guy that had almost 20 points last week? Clement and ASJ balled from the bench, and only made things more complicated going forward. Carl’s team sealed the deal by starting two players playing catchup to take a game into overtime. Touchdowns abound, and it was enough to make up for single-digit outings from 4 players on other teams. Seeing Rudolph find some rhythm with Cousins will push this squad one stem closer to a Vikes-dominated lineup.

Windowless Van v Jeff’s Team
by Ardy
Don’t look now, but last year’s Skolster is at a 50% win percentage. How did he get there, you ask? Well, it helps when 6 of your position players score above their projections. Ekim has doubled down on Houston, so as Deshaun and DeAndre get back up to speed, Jeff’s Team will reap the benefits. Since he easily started his best possible lineup with the available pieces, the biggest missed opportunity here was not changing his team name to Nick’s Team. Speaking of Nick, he needed more than a near 30-pt performance from Melvin Gordon the third. Age-old question: is it harder to lose when you had the necessary points on your bench? For Nick, it wouldn’t have mattered this week. Down to 0-2.

The Glass Joes v Search for Saq-uatchby Jeff
The sasquatches came to play. 

They not only won the match-up but they also took the bench battle.  While the Joe’s took home the crown for the lowest score of the week.  If their TE had given them 1.23 points or better they would’ve had 2nd worst over Laces but who’s mincing these types of things?  Thankfully the Joe’s have already found Jesse James to fix the issue. 
The real standout in this matchup was AJ Green.  3 TDs is pretty sweet any week.  Getting the Cincy passing game going could make them a real fantasy force all season.  The Cincy running game looks to be grinding gears but that wasn’t an issue here. 
Doug Baldwin not being available hurt and it probably doesn’t make the searches pleased to see their main squeeze out except for the weeks they face him in fantasy.  
From the afternoon Sunday games on it looked pretty good for the Joe’s to go 0-2.  You just can’t f-with those WR points.

Good luck next week Search takes on LCpl Underground in a battle of the unbeatens and Joe’s takes on the vaunted Jeff’s Team.  Jeff’s might be posers but you can never count a Jeff out.  

One last note before we go this was reportedly found left at a Starbucks in Egan this past Monday. 
Thanks for coming by and drive home safely!!

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