Week 4 Recapper’s Death Dance Part 2

Week 4 maybe you should play a phone game instead

I haven’t looked at a lot of fun stuff on the internet this week.  This is pretty funny.  
Before we recap the individual games here is a quick look at the standings as brought to you by Number Munchers where you can learn how to do math with the goal of finding higher scores in the coming weeks. 
The Ringer is doing an NBA meme contest and its good.  Check it out.  Unless you suck then don’t.
Before we recap the individual games here is a quick look at the standings as brought to you by the Black Hart of STP where you can drink beer, sing, dance, make merry and be about 1,000 from a soccer stadium.

Waiver Wednesday update:

The biggest news that I know of here is that we didn’t change the waiver wire set-up and we need to have a vote to make a decision.  Or just everyone yell and Andy and me to change it.  
Maybe someone in there was a big deal.  Hard to get excited about Fitzmagic getting bench for Winston.  Touchdown Jimmy Jesus to IR and Dez got cut too.  Rough week.  

501st Vs. L.Cpl Underground
Last of the Undefeat-eds
*{shhck} – Imperial troops have entered the base! Imperial troops have en-{shh-pmk}* <Carrier Lost>

Yes the old gypsy hex of pointing out how good someone is came back to bite Nicholas in the fuselage as Tim’s army swarmed the battlefield led by this year’s single biggest gun, Alvin Kamara (29.65 points/game average during Ingram’s absence… sheesh) and a spattering of lesser but still powerful clones like the “sound-playing” Ertz (16.2 for Phi as they lost to Ten. GOOD. Would that they lose many more to come) and Atlanta’s Ridley (19.5 beating projections by 10). After last week it appeared The Colonel could do no wrong, eschewing recommended moves and blasting projections, but parity is an unsentimental goddess, and this week only 3 of Nicholas’s 15 players would score above where the Yahoo Gods™[may they be praised] thought they would. He’ll welcome back Cam Newton and Chris Thompson, but there is a lingering chink in the soldier’s armor as both his tight ends are out. He’ll battle Jeff’s Team this week as LCpl introduces himself to Ray Finkle… probably with his Gun out, in a duel of 2 and 2 teams. Schwartz’ be with you all. 

There has been some chatter on should we switch to free agent blind bidding? Think about it folks.  It’d be fun.  

Search 107.48 v Jeff’s Team 112.6

Live by the former Badgers QB and die by the former Badgers QB. 

Ekim basically did the Texas two-step and filled in the rest with trash.  

Blaming Russ Wil isn’t really fair if Bryon ends up one game out of the playoffs.  Benching Cooper Kupp when he goes off for a potential season-high that’s the sort of thing that sticks with you.  You wake up at 2am and wonder if you should take out Landry or not cause Kupp did light up the Vikes that one time.  There might also be a potential trade here.  Look Ekim won this match-up but he’s putting Nelson Agholor out there on the regular.  Bryon, you give Ekim one of your WR and in return, Michael agrees to play the Miami defense against you forever anytime you guys match-up.  Let’s make it happen.  

In the coming week Ekim you are facing Nick and at present you are a 20pt dog you might wnt to address your lineup.  B-money you are lining up against our resident east-coast west-coaster in Steel House so please protect your coast and let’s not overthink the Kupp thing.  

Bye Week 105.92 vs. Steel House 108.90

Jarrett’s squad mounted their best effort of 2018 but were missing that confidence from their manager in the naming department to get them the extra 3 points needed to notch their first win of the season. Dalvin Cook laid a major goose egg (trade time, Carl?) and Jesse James took a back seat to Vance Magic Vance (for all the good it did SOMEONE), but it looks like he has a DEF worth keeping around. Hobbled Rodgers is surely the leading cause of Bye Week’s woes, but we’ll need to see if McCarthy and A-Rodg can get on the same page. Things are going to get interesting as Doug Baldwin and Mark Ingram start to get some looks for Bye Week. 

Steel House has made a few wise moves beyond auto-drafting (which looks like a great draft strategy to YOURS TRULY right about now), grabbing DeSean Jackson and James Connor, who did just enough to put Tom’s Team over. Looking ahead, his squad could be dangerous. Someone tell him that Alshon is back to ruin fools, or better yet, don’t. And Matty Ice is on a tear, if anyone is looking to trade things up. Who wants a QB controversy each week, anyway? NOT THIS GUY.

Windowless 112.98 v VideoGames 125.28
Nick scooped his projections by 1.40 points.  A pretty solid showing on the week.  THE VIDEO GAMES TUB THUMPED YOU WITH A WHOPPING 30.42 POINT IMPROVEMENT OVER THEIR PROJECTIONS.

Sorry you lost Nick.  You also lost the bench game.  Its not like you lost the real game and then had 82 points on the bench.  Nope Videogames beat you and sat some serious big knockers. 

This loss has set-up a pretty cool 1-3 matchup between the Van and the Big Head next week.  Presently it looks like a good matchup.  Let’s hope Cooper plays and shows up.  Video games is pulling Bye Week and the Byes presently have their D on the bye so we’ll see what shakes out there.  

Big Head Mode Vs. Jordy Bangs Goats
The task fell to me, to sing the song of a great duel between two legs of “You Like That?!”’s triumvirate of slavish writers. Warily I gazed over the event horizon of a struggle that would, in the space of one game, send one of them SOARING to 2nd place at 3-1 and one PLUMMETING into the near-oblivion of 11th at 1-3 [sorry Jarrett]. Vainly I sought to borrow surcease from the burden in the knowledge that it had been a game well-fought by both sides. I wasn’t. It was a slide to ruin and straight-and-arrow passage to the Promised Land at the same time. I can’t do this. I’m not worthy, and I’m not supposed to be here.I have to leave this place.  I’m out.

… {Auto-Run:.>execute: program./default/realcarl’give0010110010up>exe. SHADOW AI ALGOrITHM CARL}..Boot[robotic voice] initializing……     …..   ..

TOpiCAL REFerENce: hhEY you gguYZ like {Vikins football tte1101am??} Andy+Jeff=friendsMOCK THEM

<cAPPtion “See 001 these NUU101011110Berss?!!” they don’t MEAN anythiing101>]

COMPARE STATS: Time=Zero Andy+20 proj@111.93v99.79=jeff, Narrative ,pRECIPitito1010001us fall y=-1.1(minutes)x + 20 initial PrrJect10100010111ed win] T=end/STOP obse01110ve: Jordy=121 [{note^many left bench points!-still=WIN]}

SUMMARIZE Fututre=11010001 Andy @1-3 VS Windowless and JordyVS=CUZNUG$Narrative”3-1”3-1”both percentile.>=85% -Very FuuNN..

execute: continue ev01010ving…

Cuz Nug 135.06 vs. Laces Out 122.36
Leading the way of an unusually high-scoring week that saw 11 out of 12 teams top 100 points (don’t bother looking up who didn’t clear the benchmark, it doesn’t matter) was Zachary Ty Olson. This loss is gonna stick in Finkle’s craw (what is a craw, exactly? And what’s a craw on a confused individual such as Ray Finkle?), since his score would have bested 8/11 of his prospective opponents. But instead he had to watch Hunt, White, Cooks, and Mahomes all score over 20 points in the same week. Looks like doubling down on that KC offense has proven very beneficial to the Minnesota Wolverine.

“And seriously?” thought Finkle, “The GD Pats have to decide to give James White the most fantasy points of the season the ONE week that I’m up against him?” Improving on his high water mark by 14.6 points was all the difference it took. Finkle looks to greatly benefit from the check-down throws of a QB who knows how to Beathard, and Boyd is a solid waiver pickup, but who expects the stud receiving duo of the Michael Bros. to pool their efforts into just over FIFTEEN points? LACES OUT!

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